Everything seemed okay, but....

'Morning Kit,

Hasn't it been wonderful to watch all of the birds outside our window at the feeders and the bird bath?

You've had a great week during which you spent many hours in the sun on the deck. I don't think that you even heard the birds around you as it seems like you could be losing your hearing.

Yesterday was sad, huh? We found a beautiful blue jay with an injured

wing hopping around the back yard. We told our neighbors about it and then made a decision as to what we should do. We had to do the right thing as this was going to serve as a lesson for the children living next door who grace our lives. After a 3-hour round trip out to the Wild Life Sanctuary at Tuft's University I returned home to tell the children that sadly the little bird had passed on. At least he was safe and not in pain anymore.

When I came home, I found you bleeding again. Kit, what is this all about? Aren't the steroids working? Just when everything seems to be okay with the birds singing, the squirrels chasing each other through the backyard and you seemingly blissful, it all changes.

Please stop hiding under the bed (that's a bad sign) and come out to eat your breakfast.

Love,

Sharon

Mrrrrr...this is you kit!

Okay, so this basically how you've been most of the time since our last post two weeks ago! I've been wondering what is going on in your head while trying to remember that senior citizens sleep a lot!

Upon seeing you the other day in your habitual reclining position, a visitor remarked that perhaps this situation wasn't the kindest thing.

What situation, what kindest thing? Of course, the "kindest thing" was the reference to steriods. Well, so you're 16, 17 something and have a chronic disease that may be cancer, but we can't do anything invasive.

You still got up everyday to eat, use the litter box and then back to bed. So Kit, imagine my surprise when you came into the computer room yesterday like Snow White awakening from a dream. Imagine my surprise when you demanded to get up on my lap. Imagine my surprise when you slept on my head again last night. Imagine my surprise when you did a long mrrrrrr while washing my face this morning. Imagine my surprise that you are now walking around the living room searching for the perfect perch in front of the living room window.

Imagine my surprise when a class that I am presently teaching told me last night that they were going to miss me when they had to say goodbye next week. Imagine my surprise when I told them that I was going to miss them too.

Life's funny that way, huh, kit? It's just one surprise after another!

Love and mrrrrrrrr(s) to you my darling kit!

Sharon

Well, Kit the days go by and...

Almost a week has gone by since our last post! Kitty Kit, I'm glad to see that you are so snug in your new blanket. Now if you can just keep your stomach from rumbling and the blanket reasonably clean, it's all good, eh?

There have been some times in the past week when I thought that you were almost as good as new and that perhaps our experiences had all been a figment of my imagination.

So what is our reality...yours and mine? You are drug dependent. If there's a lapse in meds, we're back to square #1. Given your diet of raw rabbit, we should be seeing some substantial output, but alas that hasn't happened. I'm inclined to believe that this will be our story until the last chapter. Now don't get me wrong! Admittedly, I was a bit stressed when we got up at 2:30 this morning and I thought that "the process" had started again. All is quiet now and you are wrapped up in your blanket on the sofa.

Actually, it would be a gift if you stayed comfortable and purring with the help of these meds for as long as they last. I'm grateful that you are not all skin and bones anymore and seem to be putting on some weight. Your spine is still quite prominent, but you've softened a bit.

You've given me some calm for a bit while I grade all of the English Comp papers in front of me. Thanks!

I love you Kit.

What are you dreaming about?

Sharon

So who is the prettiest kit in MA?

Well Cass, of course it's you! Aren't you lucky to have such wonderful vet techs to take care of you? It must be your girlish charm that wins them over.

We seem to have stabilized for a bit and I am truly grateful, because to tell you the truth I was getting tired of too many late nights, not enough appetite in my kit and your decline.

It seems like we have a respite and that's good. It's summertime and I'd loved to see you in the sun on the back porch again. Yeah, I know that you're heavy into drugs these days, but you seem to be feeling better. Keep up the good work until we run out of drugs. We can both use a break.

I'm just glad that you're sleeping all night long and haven't been bleeding for three days now.

The sun is out today, so it's all good, huh?

Love and head butts,

Sharon

Life isn't always fair!

So my Kitty Kit, we seemed to have reached a plateau. We're no worse, but we're holding our own. Thank Dog! I've been weary for the past few months of getting up several times a night and it's about time for a break.

Do you remember when Jerri gave you Reiki back in March? She said that your life force was strong and it appears that it's still the case. Maybe you're not finished with your work of teaching me lessons, huh?

In this respite from your illness I have turned my attentions a bit. Remember when I said it wasn't always about us? Kitty Kit, one of my students is pregnant with her second set of twins. Her infant son from the first set passed away on Tuesday. And we think that we have problems. How arrogant we are, huh?

What are we going to do about this? My student is on a path to failure in this class. Time is passing by quickly. Then there are the rules. Ah, yes, there's always rules. What can we do to help my student while considering the rules? Is this part of our culture? How can we set up people to fail because of the rules? How can I say that I did the best I could under the circumstances? What is the ethical way to handle this while considering the rules that dictate my employment?

So Kit, when you figure it all out, please let me know. In the interim I'm glad that you like your comfy new blanket and I hope that you'll eat more so that you don't need it so much to keep warm.

Thanks for a relatively quiet two days, Kitty Kit. When you really think about it, we've got it pretty good, huh?

Love,
Sharon

Well, Cassie...I've been thinking

Who is silly enough to sleep in some of the places where you've been known to sleep? Then again, who is the silly person who gave you access to these places?

Well, to get back to what I've been thinking! You've been sleeping most of the day because you didn't feel well last night, but you ate this morning and went out on the deck. I've been correcting papers and more papers, plus I've been thinking - thinking about how it all began.

Growing up I spent much of my life living in a zoo with my grandma and grandpa. We had canaries, homing pigeons, a feral cat colony, a big pool filled with gold fish, a dog named Dixie and my kitten Fluffy.

Every time I take you to hospital I have you wrapped in your favorite blanket. People always comment on how sweet you look in the blanket. I'm afraid that you'll get cold because you're thin and frail now. How did it all begin?

One cold and raw winter day over 60 years ago Grandpa and I took Dixie to hospital to be spayed. In the early evening we went back to pick her up. I was all bundled up in my snow suit and mittens. Grandpa had on his heavy overcoat and hat. When they brought Dixie out to us Grandpa took off his coat and wrapped Dixie in it. We walked home, which was about 10 blocks away, with Grandpa in his shirt sleeves, seemingly not minding the cold, but just concerned that Dixie was warm and comfortable.

Kitty, I do believe that's where it all began .... this caring for and taking care of.

Eat your supper Kitty Kit Kit and sleep well tonight.

Love and head butts,

Sharon

Kitty in her prime!

So Kit, you're looking "really fine" here! This is the way that I like to see you! If you could put some weigh on, you'd look just like this again.

Today we went to hospital again. While you were getting your meds from the vet tech I went outside to sit on a bench. The wind was rustling the leaves on the birch trees. In the sunshine the leaves looked like silver coins. It reminded me a lot of home.

Yes, you're still not feeling up to par, but you did eat and yet you were ill on the way home in the car. Then I thought of the alternatives. You know Kitty, it's not always all about us - you and me.

While you were getting your meds I watched a family with a beautiful golden lab-cross head to the bereavement room. I knew what that meant. There was a boy about 10 years old who was trying so hard not to cry, but he was going to be saying adieu to his best friend once they entered the room. I watched his shoulders shudder, then droop a bit as he crossed the threshold with his dog beside him. The gentle wag of the dog's tail was the last glimpse I had as the door closed. I knew that the next several minutes were going to be the toughest that the little boy would have for a long time.

Try not to worry little boy and don't be too sad. Your dog will be safe and well where he's headed. I promise that you will have the chance to see him again one day.

That's a lot of heartache for one little boy to deal with. Time passes and then he'll have wonderful memories to look back on. Sleep well beautiful golden dog and go gently little boy.

I love you Kitty Kit Kit and I love little boys who love their dogs.

Sharon